0n LeTtinG g0..

Dear You. You entered my life and left my life by kissing me without permission. I was confused--loving you but fighting it-- so I simply did what you wanted me to do. Yes, I have to agree with what your friends say. You are not ordinary. You can be such a smooth operator.

I was surprised you did not give in to what occurred between the two of us. Well, you did but not quite. That damaged my pride all right. I thought you will come back for more but you did not, and that was my second surprise. When I heard the news about her, I knew that it was high time for me to go. You were hiding from me--physically and emotionally. When I called for you to come to me, you were acting like a child. I was actually a bit sorry for you. But I avoided talking because I wanted to quench the little hope I had in us. We were not meant to be together, and I know it.

Dear You. I hate you! Why did you play games with me? You should have gone away at the first instant. Why did you linger? To see how far your looks can take you? If that's the case, then I can safely say that you are nothing but an empty ugly shell!

I was sad that you left. Not just because I enjoyed looking at you. What I missed more was you--being with you. Even if you only contributed about five percent of our conversation, if felt nice that you were there. Physically there.

I am still confused why I was hurt when you left, when what transpired between us was mere physical attraction. Is the heart really that weak that it can feel love when there is really none? Are we made just to bear our offspring? Is that our body's primary need and love's just an added bonus? A thing not really necessary? I am fervently hoping that I am wrong about this things. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I got it all wrong.

That night, I cried. And, shaming as it is to admit it, i wanted to run back to you. It was good that you already left and you weren't able to see what I did. God knows what that would have done to your already bursting ego. But I realized I was not crying for you alone. I was crying for all the failed and unrequited loves I have gotten myself into. Crying because happiness has always eluded me.

All in all, I am glad that you are out of my life. You are nothing but a childish dream. A childish nightmare. A thing I have to stop believing for me to grow up. And here's what I forgot to tell you before you left: Goodbye!

*I'm already healed. I have let him go months ago...I just wanted to share some part of my past.

*For all the men who have played with women's hearts. Damn all of you!