sPeNdiNg sAturDaY niGhTs iN tHe LaB!

3: 45am, Analytical Services Laboratory

*if Doc Q gets wind of this, my thesis adviser, Dr. Coo, would surely get a beating. we're not supposed to work in the lab at weekends but Dr. Coo managed to sneak us in.hehe

It's almost morning and i'm still stuck in the lab..a pathetic chemistry student working on a pathetic thesis on a pathetic saturday night.. while my boyfriend is at home texting me that it's already our 11th lunasary and while my sisses are having the sorority elections, i'm here sitting in the lab..typing a blog post?!! haha..no, my thesis partner minette relieved me of the instrument for a while so here, i'm being affected by fran's blog virus again.

i don't know if i should feel sorry for myself or get mad at all the jinxs that has been pestering my thesis since the semester began. March is three weeks away and my thesis is just half-done. sigh.. only 3 monthsd ago, i've been 95% sure i could graduate on time but with the rate my lab work is going, the percent probability of my making it to the UP ampitheater in my sablay in April is down to 45%.

i don't know how my parents would react to this. i'm their eldest and they have been wanting to attend a college graduation ceremony but it looks like i am going to fail them..big time. i should kick myself for single-handedly getting into this mess. if it were not for my "overtly active foresight", i would not be feeling this embarassed. for the past year, i have been doing a good job of convincing my mom and dad that it's all right if i don't graduate in my 4th year since i just shifted to chem on my 3rd year. however, i changed my mind last sem and told them that i'm finally graduating this year. hah! i didn't know that a big joke was coming my way! so here i am, at the middle of the night, frustrated once again that the graphite furnace atomic absorption spectrometer won't cooperate with me.

the idea of being a "doctor"--making up experimental results-- has dawned on me a thousand times already but i still have a bit of conscience in me that i refused to do it..even if it means forfeiting my chance of attending my supposed to be graduation. and if i play "doctor", the thought of my thesis adviser submitting my experimantal results to tuna companies would surely haunt me.

if i didn't join the Analytical Chemistry group, would my thesis been finished by now? i don't exactly know. it's too late to regret now. i just wish some sort of a miracle would happen. and i would be able to get out of this problem. and come April, i would be albe to join the Lightning Rally on graduation day. and come May, i would be at the RSRC reviewing for the board exam. i don't know if any of these would happen. i don't exactly know. but i wish.

0n LeTtinG g0..

Dear You. You entered my life and left my life by kissing me without permission. I was confused--loving you but fighting it-- so I simply did what you wanted me to do. Yes, I have to agree with what your friends say. You are not ordinary. You can be such a smooth operator.

I was surprised you did not give in to what occurred between the two of us. Well, you did but not quite. That damaged my pride all right. I thought you will come back for more but you did not, and that was my second surprise. When I heard the news about her, I knew that it was high time for me to go. You were hiding from me--physically and emotionally. When I called for you to come to me, you were acting like a child. I was actually a bit sorry for you. But I avoided talking because I wanted to quench the little hope I had in us. We were not meant to be together, and I know it.

Dear You. I hate you! Why did you play games with me? You should have gone away at the first instant. Why did you linger? To see how far your looks can take you? If that's the case, then I can safely say that you are nothing but an empty ugly shell!

I was sad that you left. Not just because I enjoyed looking at you. What I missed more was you--being with you. Even if you only contributed about five percent of our conversation, if felt nice that you were there. Physically there.

I am still confused why I was hurt when you left, when what transpired between us was mere physical attraction. Is the heart really that weak that it can feel love when there is really none? Are we made just to bear our offspring? Is that our body's primary need and love's just an added bonus? A thing not really necessary? I am fervently hoping that I am wrong about this things. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I got it all wrong.

That night, I cried. And, shaming as it is to admit it, i wanted to run back to you. It was good that you already left and you weren't able to see what I did. God knows what that would have done to your already bursting ego. But I realized I was not crying for you alone. I was crying for all the failed and unrequited loves I have gotten myself into. Crying because happiness has always eluded me.

All in all, I am glad that you are out of my life. You are nothing but a childish dream. A childish nightmare. A thing I have to stop believing for me to grow up. And here's what I forgot to tell you before you left: Goodbye!

*I'm already healed. I have let him go months ago...I just wanted to share some part of my past.

*For all the men who have played with women's hearts. Damn all of you!

UNtechie

Grr!bakit di ako marunong magpost ng may picture?! ayun, sa hello ako nagsusulat..ginagawa kong caption ng picture yung article ko.ala pa ko tag-board kaya dito na din ako nagcocomment. loser noh? di bale..mag-cracrash course din ako sa java...fran, ako na ata ikaw.

i lied. i should not be writing anymore because i told myself that i'm never going to be inflicted with fran's blog virus..but it seems like i have to take back what i said. blog really is addictive..it makes you just want to tap the keyboards and post another article.. so here goes.. don't mind the picture, i just wanted to post karlo's picture.& don't worry, i won't rant about love..for now. grabe, it's almost 6am and i haven't got a minute of sleep because this blog thing (add gracia's keyboard that has the letters on it faded) took my whole evening away from me. pauwi na kami nina jamie maya-maya. mamayang hapon, may gagawin kami sa funshine..sorority thing. maglalaro ata.haha pero may sportsfest pa kami sa chemsoc kaya patay-patay ako nito..alang tulog tapos magtatatakbo ako mamaya. Competitive pa naman ako, sabi ng mga orgmates ko kaya hindi pwedeng matalo yung team ko. hindi talaga. babrasuhin ko yun. excited na din ako para mamayang hapon. masaya mga sis sa mga panahong tulad nito. problema ko tuloy kung kelan ako makakatulog. aahh! busy life!  

SISFIRE3

2:23 am, gracia’s house.
It has been ages since I created my blog account (and fran has bugged me a thousand times about writing something in it) but it’s only now that I found the time to write something.. Uhm, I mean, I’m stuck here w/ no one to talk to—grace is “studying” w/ jem, jamie, and vanessa;ribbie’s sleeping—so I’m finally giving in to fran..but I’m writing just one short article and that’s it..bye bye blog.

My beloved UP Sigma Beta Sorority is hosting another SISFIRE this year. SISFIRE, a UP Fair concert, isSB’s baby and it is on its 3rd year now. The sisses started hosting SISFIRE back in 2003 when I was still new in the sorority. Although it was our first time to handle such event, we made it big..and we had been making it big ever since (I’m not bragging..though it may seem like it..haha). The previous SISFIRE nights were successful (crowd number-and-revenue wise.hehe) but we went through the whole experience sweat, blood, and tears. During out 1st SISFIRE, the fencing for the Fair grounds were half-done because some people don’t finish their jobs (hah! Frat men!). During our 2nd SISFIRE, D**d**, wished for rain (which she didn’t get because she’s mean), a black propaganda was spread that there would be a frat rumble, and Jay-R happened to have sore throat so he ended up singing one song. Oh well.. Sometimes, these things do happen.

It’s amazing to see our first fair project slowly become a tradition to the UP Fair and I’m going to do all that it takes for it to happen. I want to come back to UP after 10 years to see SISFIRE 13 and I want my kids to go to UP and be able to attend a SISFIRE Fair night. Like GAG, our dance party tradition which is on its 5th year, SISFIRE will be featured UP Fair after UP Fair.

"...dreams are just figments of the imagination that can be turned into reality.."